Two Poems
by Alex Carrigan
Ars Poetica with Lemons, Curry, and Carol Burnett
After “Ars Poetica with a Bird, a Pay Phone, and Spock” by Leah Umansky
I am once again compelled to watch the clip of The Carol Burnett Show
where she tries to lip sync to “The Trolley Song” while the show’s director
plays with the speed of the song. I watch her try to match the chipmunk-
and demonic-sounding speeds of the Judy Garland classic,
nearly falling out of her seat as she sings about the buzzing of the buzzer.
Someone in the YouTube comments say her dress looks like a bag of lemons.
I take a sip of lemon ginger tea. The awkward, early April weather has
given me a cough this morning, and I alternate between lemon cough drops
and lemon ginger tea. The tea is hot enough to burn my lips, making me
miss a beat as I try to lip sync as well as Carol. I told myself that
if I ever decided to become a drag queen, I would definitely do a lip sync
performance to this clip. It’s a number that doesn’t require dancing,
but it does require a lot of funny faces I can practice in the mirror.
My brother texts me a photo of his daughter’s first Easter during one rewatch.
She’s in a green polka dot dress, reaching out to her Ammachi for more
appam and curry, and her family cheers and laughs with each bite.
I’m glad she’s already such a foodie before her first birthday.
I watch as she smiles each time a bit of curry touches that tiny mouth of hers,
and I wonder when the last time I had such a natural smile on my face.
Maybe it was when I first tried lemon ginger tea, or maybe it was the first time
I saw Carol do her lip sync in her lemon bag dress. I know now.
It was when I realized I had to write about all of these today.
Triple Sonnet for My Mother as a Real Housewife
After “Triple Sonnet for my Mother’s Full-On Soap Opera Fantasy” by Dorothy Chan
My mother was always a fan of Real Housewives
since it filled the week between episodes of
Desperate Housewives and was something
to watch on Bravo when I wasn’t watching
Top Chef and telling her I was someday gonna
own my own restaurant when I still can’t
peel a potato by hand. She watched enraptured
by the Birkin bags carried from dining table
to dining table before they were thrown to the
floor when someone screamed and shook
the table until red wine spilled all over
the white tablecloths, just like how her mother
would sometimes spill her pinkish wine
as she reached for another cigarette.
My mother was never going to be a
Real Housewife, not when her husband was gone
for months at a time, not when he finally stayed gone,
not when she had three kids to take to cooking classes,
field hockey, and Civil Air Patrol, for all that
did for her oldest son’s future. She found nice bags
at stores like Ann Taylor and made sure they
could last a few years, only collecting
germs from the floor if she needed to put it there
to ensure everyone had a place at the table
on the nights she made lasagna drowning in
canned Prego with frozen Texas toast as
easy garlic bread, something we all still
consider one of her best dinners.
But this past weekend, I saw my mother
as the diva she was always meant to be, her face
painted by professionals to make her eyebrows
as full as a lasagna pan and her eyes to be as clear
and sparkled as that pan after it was washed.
She had no bag to carry, but an ivory coat dress
to match my sister’s wedding gown as they
passed through the steps of the courtyard and towards
the antique urns my sister and her now-husband
found while thrifting. In that moment, my mother looked
not like Kyle Richards nor Lisa Vanderpump, but like Lauren Bacall,
and I saw the glamour and beauty that was always there
under glasses and stress, and I knew for a fact that
this was the star she was always meant to be.
Alex Carrigan (he/him) is a Pushcart-nominated editor, poet, and critic from Alexandria, VA. He is the author of Now Let’s Get Brunch (Querencia Press, 2023) and May All Our Pain Be Champagne (Alien Buddha Press, 2022). He has appeared in HAD, fifth wheel press, Sage Cigarettes, JAKE, Inlandia Journal, and more. Visit carriganak.wordpress.com or follow him on Twitter @carriganak for more info. His favorite pizza toppings are grilled chicken and pesto.
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